Dad Jokes

I've got a really good UDP joke to tell you but I don’t know if you'll get it.

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't.

// This line doesn't actually do anything, but the code stops working when I delete it.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Never date a baker. They're too kneady.

A perfectionist walked into a bar... apparently, the bar was not set high enough.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says "Can't you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!" to which the man replies, "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings; we only worry about errors."

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

I have a joke about Stack Overflow, but you would say it's a duplicate.

"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.